10.16.00 - 1:09:21

today lyn and i went to see dancer in the dark. also my mother and i went shopping and bought a teal corduroy skirt and maroonish corduroy pants. white shirt. black shirt. blue shirt. i liked the movie. i was concerned that i wasn't going to like it. i liked the song with jeff on the bridge. i liked the choreography in the factory. i liked the film. i had a happy feeling walking out of the theater. well, maybe not happy, but content, maybe. when i really felt like i should have been completely distraught or upset or angry. that's a strange feeling, experiencing emotions you really don't expect to feel.

it's a feeling of detachment. if my head was a balloon, i would hold it by the longest of strings. if my mind was a balloon, floating outside of my head. if. people who don't like bjork don't like the movie. it seems an obvious connection. i don't understand why these people would pay to see the movie. but see, people just don't make sense to me anymore. i should have some amazon stuff coming in soon. oh, and some mcat scores. i am more excited about the amazon stuff.

i am tired. i slept 12 hours last night. it was lovely. but i need to work tomorrow. i finished as i lay dying and it was as sad as i remembered. but there is more work to do. and also real work. my job. and also errands. there is never enough time for it all because we stretch our lives to fill the time we have. if we cut something out to make more time, we stretch what we have left to fill it. and after a certain point, there is no more we can eliminate. so the key is to recognize this at the very start and know that your leisure time will be scarce. it's just how we are. accept it. it's easier than fighting, sometimes. inevitability. i wonder.

i am rather behind on emails. i should um, catch up.

i think i'll do that now. i am tired and there are no sheets on my bed. so first email, then sheets. then bed. i cleaned my room this afternoon, and i feel like i am allowed to breathe again.

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