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8.22.00 - 10:23:58

99secrets.com. just trust me.

ok, so let's talk about colors. you know. THE color talk. i think i've had it with almost everyone i know. see, who's to say that we all see the same colors? yes, we all learn the same colors in preschool. we have someone hold up this card and say "RED." and another card. "BLUE." but look at that kid next to you. he's seeing your green. how do you know he isn't? and that's just it. we'll never know. i suppose it's easier to believe our colors are all the same. just because that makes it possible for some absolute to exist. absolute yellow. absolute green. absolute something.

for what it's worth (not much) do you think chris isaak has it in him to write a song that's not depressing as hell?

in prozac nation, she starts one chapter with an excerpt from some other book. i can't remember what it was. but it details this conspiracy where people try to convince you some color, yellow, for instance, does not exist. every time you see something yellow and remark on it, someone feigns ignorance and tells you that the color yellow does not exist. after days and weeks and months of being told that the color yellow does not exist, you start to wonder if maybe they're right. and that is when you start feeling like you're going insane. it scares me to think it could happen. but i really believe it could. to me, specifically. i'm on the brink, anyway.

shadows run after me with knives. every car on the road is a possible drive-by. yes, even here, where the number of drive-by shootings over the past five years is zero, i'm sure. i don't know where the paranoia comes from. but i plan on asking ariela about it next time we talk. ariela's my therapist. she's a nice person. i think it's impossible to be truly yuppie today without a therapist. in the 80s, it was impossible to be truly yuppie without a coke habit (see bret easton ellis, jay mcinerney, etc.). good thing i missed that wave. the strange thing being, i really don't want to be a yuppie. it just happens. (yeah, we hear that all the time.)

a thought: i bet financing a coke habit gets way more expensive than therapy.

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