this is where we look for things
8.31.2000 - 12:04:54
love is one of the hardest things you can ever try to explain. it's not logical. it's not rational. i am hard pressed to tell you what it is. it just is. you can't understand it. you can't look at two people and figure out why. it just is. i used to walk down the street and i'd see some ugly chick with a really hot guy and immediately think 'oh, i bet he's an asshole.' or a really hot chick with an ugly guy and think 'oh, she must be a bitch.' but then you get older and things start getting complicated. things like the spark in someone's eyes when they look, really look at you. the way you feel when your hands touch. the shiver that goes up your spine when you hear that voice. the way someone can fix everything wrong in your life in five minutes flat. the way everything falls back apart once they're gone. the way you feel invincible and safe and protected. the way the world doesn't seem as terrible as it usually does. the way you think, well, maybe everything does work out for the best in the end.
life isn't about money or jobs or careers or material goods. it's about love and relationships and the beauty that you can suck out of this ugly world if you really make an effort. we are a society obsessed with measures, a society obsessed with the concept of 'more'. and when we get more, we throw it aside and expand our definition of 'more'. there's no such thing as enough or too much. ever.
she's loving by proxy. no, like, guys, i'm listening to cutting crew. died in your arms. yeah, it's a pretty sad thing. probably sadder to admit it. oh well. whatever. who are you to judge?
i wish tori would tour more. i think there's nothing that would make me feel better than a tori show right now. ani's coming to new orleans in the end of september. i might have to go out there for the show if things are still this bad. or maybe if they're perfect. ani's so awesome live.
oh, i guess somewhere in all this mess i started school and got my phone line hooked up. like i said earlier, our apt. is tres lovely.
i plan to do a lot of baking this weekend. baking and reading and painting, and maybe set up my aquarium if i've got all the parts. oh, i can't wait to have my little fishes. i got a water column yesterday. that was pretty exciting. it's about 5' tall and goes from red to white to green to blue. with adjustable pump so you can have slow relaxing bubbles or fast and furious ones. it's nice. the pump makes this quiet gravelly pump-like noise that's actually very soothing.
ani tickets = $31.00. that's a little pricy. but we'll see. there's no price you can set on sanity.
do you know u2's 'love is blindness'? god, what a good song. love is clockworks and cold steel...fingers too numb to feel...squeeze the handle, blow out the candle, love is blindness, love is blindness, i don't want to see, won't you wrap the night around me? oh my love...blindness...
