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11.5.00 - 5:47:45

how many times do i start to write about love and quit because i sound like some sort of sappy advertisement? i don't know. but more than a couple of times. i think this time, though, i'll let myself go.

love.

love is a lot better than prozac. you might tell me that the prozac hasn't really kicked in yet so i can't really make that judgment. and that's fine and all, but i'm pretty sure i'm right on this one. they read this bible verse at lots of weddings and hilary knows it by heart, and i'm not a big fan of the bible or anything, but that whole 'love is patient, etc, etc, etc' makes me smile every time. love is like spider-silk. invisible. strong. beautiful. love ties people together with funny knots. knots you can't feel. knots that don't bind or constrict. but knots that won't come undone.

sometimes when i'm sad and lonely and it's dark outside, i sit in my room and think about love. i can feel it fill up the room and the air is suddenly a little brighter, a little easier to bear. love doesn't judge. love lets you say, i may not understand what you are feeling, but i am here for you. love lets you say, i may know understand what you are doing, but i am here for you. love lets you say, i may not approve of the way you are doing things, but i am here for you.

when you really love somebody, you always want what's best for them. but when you really love somebody, you have to realize that you might not know what's really best for them. love lets you make your own mistakes. love lets you learn. it hurts when you see somebody you love hurting. but you have to learn that it's not your fault. and that you can't fix it, no matter what. we don't have that sort of power over one another. you can't get inside my head, no matter how much you love me. or how much i love you. because it's my head. and my problems. no matter how much love there is.

and for everyone i love (no, it doesn't ALL apply to you...but it applies to someone):

-i love that i can quote poetry to you in conversation and you always know where i'm getting it.

-i love that you always understand what i am trying to say, even when i can't form the words.

-i love that you understand that i need to cry alone.

-i love knowing i can always come cry on your shoulder.

-i love the way we can sit in silence. comfortably.

-i love the way that you are always thinking of me.

-i love knowing that we will always be close, no matter how far away you really are.

-i love knowing that you will always be there for me.

-i love you for not trying to fix me.

-i love you for being like a sister to me.

-i love you for not giving up on me.

-i love you for loving me.

"'what about china, have you seen the great wall?' 'all walls are great if the roof doesn't fall...'"

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