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1.18.01 - 11:59:31

this morning i sat in a room and named everything around me in spanish in my head. i couldn't remember the clock. i still can't remember the clock. i am waiting for the babelfish to tell me what clock is so maybe i can sleep tonight. it's telling me reloj. i don't know. that makes me think more watch than clock, but what do i know. of course when i look up watch, it gives me reloj, too. but when i look up reloj, it gives me clock, so lo que sea. if i had the inclination i could look it up other places or go get the spanish-english dictionary, but i think i'm going to be satisfied with reloj. at least tonight.

today was a yucky, ugly, pathetic day. i don't think i saw any color outside that wasn't some variation of gray. i felt very photosensitive. like the lack of light was making me volatile. i started to get really pissed off at the world in general. i didn't want to be where i was but i couldn't think of somewhere i'd rather be. it sucked. i reread a bunch of kim addonizio. if you can get ahold of 'night of the living, night of the dead' i would say it would be a really good idea. ooh, check this out. apparently the author agrees that it's one of the best pieces in the book. how cool. i swear i didn't plan this. but what an awesome piece. click on books, click on tell me, click on read 'night of the living, night of the dead'. lucky you.

so today i worked a shift at hawc. went to work-work for a little while. went to a meeting. reread a bunch of addonizio and an essay by louise gluck titled 'against sincerity'. apparently i'm tortured because of my never-ending quest for truth, for which there is no test, so i can never really be sure that the journey's over. yeah, i could see how that makes one tortured. read some more addonizio and wrote a little piece myself. i don't feel like sharing right now. at least not with you.

and then, i ended up here, where i'm tired. i'm going to finish looking at some vocabulary and go to bed. it's almost the weekend, but who really cares.

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