3.12.01 - 7:55:04

back from tegucigalpa. it's very weird being back right now. yesterday was worse. we spent the morning in honduras and the evening in houston and it was just all messed up. i took a hot shower yesterday, which was nice. i wish i didn't have to be here right now. i made some new friends. i helped build a house. two houses. we did manual labor for eight hours every day. we woke up at 6 every morning. a man with a stick banged on a sign outside of our convent window every single morning at 5. we could not ascertain why. we were in a number of near-collisions. the area is mountainous and the narrow roads wind all around them and it seems that lane markings are just a suggestion. we saw headlights coming directly at us at a pretty good speed quite a few times. we had no accidents. we saw no accidents. it's very curious. we drove about 4 hours to go to a beach on friday. we had to take a boat out to an island because there wasn't a beach on our coast. the island was formerly a volcano. the sand was black. we could see el salvador across the water. the water was about ten times saltier than ours. i could feel a difference in the way i floated. i thought about a lot of things. i'm still thinking. i go to school tomorrow. how bizarre is that? when you're in a different world, it's not so much that you forget the one you left behind. i don't know what it is. unsettling.

i was walking and thinking and talking to myself and my eyelids were a little heavy and then i blinked and i saw everything like a frame in a movie and then it was a picture that this man in overalls was carrying sideways underneath his arm and then he set it down and it was the same, but two feet to the right and i turned around to take a look at myself but i couldn't see me because she was there in the way but not exactly in the way because we were/are the same, but not the same at all really, because these things happen to her now and yesterday and three weeks ago but things only happen to me tomorrow, etc.

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