3.16.01 - 11:57:21

did she see you and did she think you were beautiful and did she think you were so beautiful that she grabbed your arm and whispered 'come here' and did you follow her into a dressing room/dj booth/bathroom/sports bar/(kitchen?) where she told you to turn and you turned and then did she see you again and think you were beautiful, did she think you were so beautiful that she had to wrap you in her cloth and did you let her wrap you in cloth and make you (maybe) just a little more beautiful

or did you fall overboard and swallow salt water, the tiniest of cuts stinging, making themselves present, saying 'feel me, feel me, feel me,' did you fall overboard and did someone fish you out and lay you out to dry in the bottom and did you dry with the salt stiff in your clothes and your eyelids glued shut and did you realize then that you threw yourself overboard looking for a sea change that never came except there, in the texture of your stiff straw hair, and all over you, the fine grit of almost-dirty-not-quite-clean-but -- not dirty, not that

and then what? did you make the words rhyme because you couldn't make them mean anything? did you paint your ugly lopsided pot red with black shiny polka dots and did you know it wouldn't hold water and did you know that next week you would be telling people 'oh, that, that's not a pot, that's supposed to be a ladybug and look how i have twisted her to illustrate the plight of womankind,' and did you know you would do the telling with a straight face and a steady voice, did you know you would tell it so many times that you began to believe in your ladybug, this sad, smashed ladybug that is not a ladybug but a pot, no, not even that, an aborted pot

did you know you would fall into her that way, so hard that you would forget the falling, and did you know you would be pinned to the wall with your hands somewhere that you couldn't see them and did you know, did you know that it would be this cold, so cold, and did you know you wouldn't be able to find your arms to pull that cord to make that fan slow down and did you know you would get colder and colder and colder until she told you it was ok and you reached up and pulled the cord because did you know your hands were really right there, right in front of you -- did you know she could make you blind

i'm going to cut it, she said. i'm going to cut it, and then i'm going to texturize the hell out of it. and then maybe i'll cut it some more. and i said, make me pretty. and she said, this is going to be so cool. and i said, will i be pretty, but under my breath and she said, this is going to be so cool and i said, i trust you, just make me look good and she said, oh, this is going to be so much fun and i still trusted her but

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