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4.9.01 - 11:01

is there a purpose, is there a why, is there a reason for doors that aren't meant to be opened, are built like that, impotent and dysfunctional? like windows that won't open, but more seriously impaired. this is it again, you know. no exit, no exit, no exit. you're staring at a door but it won't (can't) open. maybe there's even a sign that tells you no exit. maybe.

my joints ache like an old lady's (joints).

this is when you say good night, in this room with the drawn shades and the ceiling fan and the women who come and go, talking of michelangelo. in the end you can phrase almost every in the present tense so things aren't as important as they may appear to be sometimes.

i am listening to led zeppelin. our generation has no led zeppelin. will there be a led zeppelin that emerges when we're no longer within this time frame? i can't even imagine it. who would it be? radiohead? nirvana? PEARL JAM?? oh god. do you see what i'm saying? of course you do, because you think about this all the time, too. because everyone is the same in a few very fundamental ways but then in the other ways we are different so very different that the sames don't even matter anymore, they disappear in a mess of not same, they're fading and you're sending me, what, hugs through the air, big ones and small ones, and i am sending you puppies and kittens and the libretto from rent and sometimes it's all just too much.

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