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4.24.01 - 9:55

stop looking at me, he said. no, like, seriously, quit. what are you looking at? who uses a font called palatino, she asked? what are you doing? what's your deal? palatino? i happen to like palatino, he answered. what's wrong with palatino.

dear god, what IS wrong with palatino?

it would be nice to grow old and get married and teach students how to tango. this was one thought. their only fundraiser is collecting used toner cartridges for recycling. two. watching mtv makes you stupider by the minute. you can feel the brain cells shrinking, the neurons pulling back, fewer synapses firing or firing more slowly, whatever, there is now less electricity in your brain. three.

on the lsat, he said, there is a bubble you fill in to indicate whether you are right or left-handed, the purpose, of course, being the provision of special left-handed desks to those lsat-takers where it is possible. there was a large campaign and she said, look at me, i got you left-handed desks. oh, and i WILL get you two-ply toilet paper. he tried to open a leftorium and it failed but not really because wasn't there a wish involved somewhere? and then later on it was a success. they have scissors for you. he was going to have those three vertical lines between his eyebrows from being so frustrated all the time. he was pretty frustrated at the moment. he didn't want to talk because the things that came out of his mouth at such times were often not the things he really meant to say. better left unsaid, these things. she giggles when she watches mtv. across the room i'm watching you and i can read your thoughts. i want to gouge my eyes out, you are thinking. we could turn off the tv, it might be easier. they did not turn off the tv in oedipus, you know. well. what if oedipus had had a television. we can't thwart fate. ha. he was still frustrated. i don't want left-handed scissors, he said, or a left-handed baseball glove or a left-handed desk or any of those things.

the chemicals just aren't right sometimes and it's not important what or how much or why, it's just important that it's not right. because sometimes things aren't right. maybe they were right to begin with. and maybe they'll be right later. just not right now. she thought about collecting salt from all the tears. how trite. it's possible for your net caloric intake to be negative. she told me this, too. how clever. she painted angry abstracts using only black and red paints. how cliched.

oh god, they had to gain 30 pounds in 30 days, can you even imagine? i mean, yeah, they won 3000 dollars, but what does your fiancee think about what you've done to earn the money to buy the ring. i bet she's probably not thrilled. but you know if she doesn't still want you that she's not the one. maybe we should all go that route.

there are a lot of things i've found and a lot of things i've lost and it doesn't get harder or easier, at least not from what i can tell. look at me, i'm so terribly maudlin, AKA a simpering fool. whatever. if you've got an itch you scratch it and you go to sleep at night. you can't always conflate things the way you automatically want to, writer-speaker-girl-i-she-watcher-he-boy-i?-speaker?-listener?-writer?-? you just can't. you-you?-? yeah. i'm not happy and i've seen the king's ghost at midnight and all of that, but where the hell can i find a lefthanded guitar.

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