5.4.01 - 3:56

they used to do it to please the others. they hoped to have great gifts bestowed upon them. they wanted to reach above themselves. it's not about that tonight. tonight it is about thwarting some sort of master plan. tonight is about testing the bounds of necessity. tonight is about wondering. maybe it is also about the other things a little bit. some people have all the luck, you know. what sucks is that there's others who don't get any of it.

sometimes i have lovely thoughts when i'm sad. the words just find each other and fall into place and i don't really have to think about it. there is a pain in my left temple. i would classify it somewhere between dull and sharp, somewhere between ache and shooting pain. it's very in-between. like myself. i have a strong feeling, however, that the afflicted nerves travel through my left eye as well. have you ever wanted to scratch the back of your eye? yeah, it kinda sucks because of the whole having to pull the eye out of the eye socket and all. probably i'll just try to sleep it off. i've been thinking too hard lately. too hard and too often.

sometimes there just isn't a satisfactory response. you can sit and wait for it but it won't come. because you don't know what you're waiting for.

'it doesn't really help that you can never say what you're looking for / but you'll know it when you see it, know it when you feel it walk through the door / so you say, so you've said many times before / but nothing is good enough for people like you / have to have someone take the blame...'

aimee mann. nothing is good enough. i'm quoting from memory while listen to marit peters sing marie, so it's quite likely i'm off a little bit. but you get the drift.

certain schools of thought feel a need to assign everything a slot within a cause-effect relationship. other schools of thought find this theory appealing, but believe that there are far too many causes and far too many effects, and it would be impossible to create any sort of system dealing in dualities, we would have to have a web. ghosts of the transition from the food chain to the food web. they have redone the food pyramid many times since my elementary school days, and i think maybe you're not supposed to eat so many bread-type foods anymore. it's a good thing i ignore that kind of stuff because bread is probably my most favorite food item. don't get me wrong. i don't really like food in general. but if someone had a gun to my head, i'd ask for some bread. well, if they asked me what i wanted to eat, anyway.

3 interesting things we have in our kitchen:

1) an apple corer 2) a lemon zester 3) two sets of ramekin cups (we'll count that as a pair like you do in the express lane at the grocery store, honey)

the most wonderful thing about sleep is how it allows you to be not awake (different from asleep, yes). i really love that about sleeping.

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