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5.19.01 - 12:06

oh man. you don't know how lucky you are. right. remember. some things we know upon waking. up, down. darkness. light. some things we learn in mysterious ways. the feeling of hunger. the feeling of being full. and then later, the feeling in between, the one that never goes away. it happens. it happens more often than you think. your third grade closet is full of rainbows and then you turn 25 and your life is beige, black, white, grey. it just happens. we're born with a spectrum and we live through it and it narrows and narrows and narrows until somehow we think it's manageable. but it can't ever really be manageable. so live in the rainbow and pretend, damnit. it's just as easy. just as easy to believe in something that isn't really there. if you're good at that sort of thing.

are you remembering all of this? we keep our passions to ourselves, remember? and at night, we go into our houses and burn. you couldn't have forgotten that. not when we've got a standing appt. and all.

what happens when the wind is just too fast and warm and you turn around, but it's too late, and you're already too far gone to put your feet back on the ground. oh, but sometimes it's so much fun to listen to music that sucks, isn't it? turn around and it's too late so why do you even bother with the turning around anyway? you know what's not going to be behind you.

some things you just can't change. even if you want to. even if everyone else wants you to. even if you're trying as hard as you can. because sometimes you're just waiting for it, whatever it is. guffman, godot. ha. oh, and the bands can't spell their names right even if they tried, that's the other clue.

then there's the things you only figure out when it's far too late and it just doesn't matter anymore. so just relax. let it be. oh my. we have the same desk lamp. what a coincidence. what is that? are those "words of wisdom"? see honey, you're not getting it. just let it be. no, wait. even better. let it go.

just let it go.

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