5.21.01 - 11:10

my goodness, have we arrived here already? the human mind has the ability to process and throw away a million things in an unimaginably short span of time. is it making your eyes water? do you even remember what it is? ignorance is bliss, but we can get there if we force ourselves to forget. but remember this -- you're one of those that never forgets. lucky you.

oh, that memory. and now we wait. and then we run. and this is weird, very, very weird. the whole time thing again. have you ever drawn that intelligence v. happiness graph? oh, you. look here. i'm drawing my pen across this paper for you and later i will tie this up with a chiffon ribbon and call it a gift, but you may call it what you wish. i won't mind. seriously.

oh, wait again. even when you think the waiting's over, it's really not. you're just getting ready for a different wait. is it some sort of coincidence that wait and hope are the same word in spanish? because what. we're waiting and hoping and hoping and waiting? for? yeah, that's the thing.

there isn't a word for may or might in spanish. you have to use can. or you can say it is possible that...whatever. it seems to awkward. i thought for sure i just didn't know the word. but yeah. es posible que. maybe things are just clearer in espanol. not so many mays and mights.

is that part of the job description, or are you just making things up because you've still got paper in front of you, or three extra minutes, or your last sip of coffee, or what? oh. it is. ok. i see. i was just waiting for you to be finished and you were just waiting to be finished yourself and somehow i got lost somewhere in the middle between here and there.

oh, but isn't that always where the middle is.

you always find it in the last place you look because why would you keep on looking? i mean, really.

oh my god. this is the feeling, right? where your heart's so full it's about to explode? oh my. it's true that we function in complements so that we're always in balance so watch this and we'll go from up to down to the highest up to the highest down and now the thing is, we just don't know where we might be. oh, was i supposed to try you later on higher ground. hmmm.

complements. happy. sad. up. down. empty. full. good. bad. black. white. it's all of these things, right.

can you watch a movie and know everything that's going to happen 5 seconds before it actually does? so if you watch the first half hour, say, of a movie, do you think we might extrapolate to the flaming statue of liberty and the kiss on the sidewalk? i say it's entirely possible.

remember that pet shop boys song, i think it was called opportunity? let's make lots of money....that one. yeah, it's a good one.

tomorrow we depart for san francisco where in my free time i'll be all bohemian and writing my book and all. stay tuned for exciting updates.

ok, fine. updates, anyway.

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