this is where we look for things
7.23.01 - 10:31
how do people 'disappear'? i want to know.
there's a garlic festival in gilroy this weekend. i mean, if you're interested. which you're probably not. unless you really love garlic and happen to be near gilroy. what are the odds, though, really.
oh, you guys, i do like bjork.
in the dream i was running first and there was a sidewalk and maybe it was asphalt and then it crumbled into gravel and melted into dirt and i don't know exactly how it happened but i kept running because i was running, after all. there was grass, then, and also a group of people up ahead, drinking beers in a big empty parking lot. i saw a brick building that smelled like books and looked familiar and the dust and grass beneath me was starting to soften into mud but i kept running. and then i looked behind me and there were ten, twenty people, mired in the muck like me, they were also running, a curious pose, stuck in the mud, feet planted, calves and thighs straining, arms beating uselessly against the air. i can read their eyes and they are saying, this is a futile endeavor, and then i think about my own calves and thighs and eyes. huh. then i whisper, face your fear, and i'm thinking about the little skit on jackass and also about the use of the second person and while i'm thinking i lean forward and fall into the mud. i start moving my hands again, like i'm running, like i'm swimming and it's a little crazy but i start to move. and then i look around me and everyone's doing it, lying in the mud, arms flailing, slowly plowing forward.
but see, the parking lot is so far away and i don't even want to get there, so where do i swim to, through this river of mud, i don't even know. i just keep swimming and swimming and i know i'm not going to get to that parking lot and i know i don't want to get to that parking lot but what i don't know is where i'm going or what i want.
'the time has come,' the walrus said, "to talk of many things: of shoes - and ships - and sealing wax - of cabbages - and kings - and why the sea is boiling hot - and whether pigs have wings."
- lewis carroll
