this is where we look for things

Get your own
 diary at DiaryLand.com! contact me older entries

8.29.01 - 11:27

'chin up, chin up. you don't really have a problem.'

sometimes there is lots of dirt underneath your fingernails and the only thing that can calm you is this, a choir of little boy voices singing you to sleep, not singing you to sleep, singing you to somewhere else, just not here. can you hear what they're singing about? not really. the keys are too loud and the ocean is too loud and the road is too loud but isn't thta how it always is. is that marvin gaye telling you to wake up? i'm asking you but i don't expect you to know. i don't expect anything from you except dilated pupils and a worn-out sense of humor. it's not all your fault though. just mostly.

she was walking up the stairs on black stiletto heels, teetering on the tall spikes. she clenched the railings with both hands and tried to look smooth or sophisticated or sexy, whatever these shoes were supposed to do for her. she heard that hose with the seam in the back was making a comeback so she'd gone out and bought some but with all this twisting and turning just to keep from falling the seams had gone awry and looked completely stupid. or at least she thought they did, wandering up from ankle to hip like lost spider veins, dirty track marks, stitches. real sexy. she went up another step and looked beneath her and somehow the stairs had become bleachers and there was all this new space between them, space to grab skinny spike heels, space to swallow her whole. and then she wasn't wearing the shoes anymore and her feet were a tiny bit clammy. and then her feet weren't on the stairs or the bleachers they were on a stage and he was offstage, stage left, screaming in whispers so she started to tap dance and everyone started laughing, you can't tap dance without tap shoes but she can't stop and now she knows it looks ridiculous, her crooked seams, her shuffle shuffle, her silent feet but what do you do now, what can you do but keep dancing anyway.

previous - next

about me - read my profile! read other Diar
yLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get
 your own fun + free diary at DiaryLand.com!