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9.20.01 - 11:58

i found the apostrophe key on the spanish keyboard, asi que i don't have to use the accent key as a shoddy substitute anymore. in case you don't appreciate the difference, here�s the accent instead of the apostrophe. do you SEE? it's so much better now.

i'm mostly checking a different email now if you want to let me know something. like, now, por ejemplo. anyway. i went to a class today. i guess it was pretty cool. espa�ol para negocios. i mean, maybe one day it'll be helpful. at least it's not at 9:00, you know. that's what i'm saying. i've turned brandon on to the pleasures of ratchicken. i'm glad he's able to appreciate it because dude, it's damn funny. there's so much typing going on in this room right now that i feel like i'm going crazy or that there are small insects tap-dancing all over my brain or that my body's just going to spontaneously combust or something. it's a very odd feeling. not such a good one. oh well. travis is going home. why is he going home? i don't know. what is he going to do at home? i don't know. what's this all about? i know, but i don't know and the reason it bothers me is because i'm not sure he knows either. people are afraid to be selfish, i think, but the truth is that there comes a time when you have to put yourself first. maybe many times. someone is giggling underneath all the tip-tap-typing and it's really bothering me for some reason. but anyway, yeah, me first. i mean, there are tons of people who i care about and love and etc, etc, etc, but i'm not going to go through life being afraid of death and being alone and what other people think about me. not my style. i'm not going to go through life being totally codependent on other people and changing my life to please them. it's just stupid. stupid, stupid, stupid, and you can judge me and that's fine because it's your opinion and guess what, it doesn't really affect me. the other afternoon i spent a lot of time contemplating the composition of mi coraz�n, i.e. is it made of cold dark stone? have i already talked to you about this? i don't know. you don't have to go home. you don't HAVE to. if you came here to find something, and i think all of us did, it seems like the best idea is to stick around until you find it.

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