12.04.01 - 2:30

we were walking and you said, hey, it's us colonials versus the european union up there and i said, huh, when did south africa and australia join the european union but you were walking faster or maybe more slowly and it was a question that didn't matter, not dissimilar to the whole night. you say dissimilar a lot, i thought in my head, but i didn't tell him because he was already overwhelmed.

i have your email address written on the side of my hand and continuing up my index finger. don't forget the 'au' you said. oh yeah, there's kangaroos in austria, someone said, laughing. i could have a great conversation in dutch or afrikaans, oli said, half to himself. you'd have to talk to yourself, i said and he nodded and talked (to himself) (in dutch) for a minute.

later it is almost 10 and time to go to class and we've been here three months, can you believe it? you remember we bought another corkscrew but we can't remember where the hell it is. his voice is washing over us and i know what he's saying and then i pause and think about friday night, sunday night, monday night. sometimes i miss american football. she wore a grateful dead shirt and i thought about that night on the floor and the old man with the guitar and that turtle with a banjo on your shoulder. first we had body milk and then body butter but that's the end of it, ok. we go to m�laga tomorrow. we go to manchester tomorrow. in madrid we will go to the hard rock and say hi to mo. in amsterdam we will go to the hard rock and say hi to oli. if we were in canada or russia or beijing next year we might see nick from australia again but i doubt it.

you sounded lonely over the phone.

i said 19 was too young to be disillusioned but i was always disillusioned and always (or never?) too young. you told me we'd see tomorrow if it burned, if it left a mark and it's tomorrow and it did, and it did, but there's no feeling there's no hurt there's just nothing underneath.

previous - next