01.24.02 - 7:50

yeah, so it probably had nothing to do with me. shut up. it's still a positive.

the water in venice was exceptionally green. the water on the cote d'azur was exceptionally blue (fittingly). hey now, hey now, don't...i know. they said, you won't believe this. it was 70 when i got in the car but by the time i got home it had dropped twenty (20) degrees. i'm counting the steps to the door of your heart. you look great. natural spring water should come from natural springs. what is this inappropriate material you speak of? yes, this is a large coincidence. (not ironic at all). i don't care one way or another, it's just the principle. next week we fall into the 30s and i'm ready for warm. ain't life grand. my wife's got the blues. yeah. ain't life grand. remember blind melon, remember widespread. it's getting colder and i am almost done with a supposedly fun thing i'll never do again and my feet are a little chilly. the phone just rang and i thought i was online. what a trip. thom yorke singing to me and sparklehorse playing along. i'm not hungry. my face hurts a little bit. i'm not hungry. yes, i do think about you. but sometimes i try not to. i guess in the end it's true that nothing matters. but life is so empty unless we pretend that something does. matter, i mean. is it time to lower the dose? is it time to stop taking the medicine? i don't know, who's to say. i know what i'm thinking and w/ or w/o medicine i know what i'll continue to think. it doesn't matter. i think i can take it or leave it. my hands are too warm and i can feel the heat radiating from my palms. i am wearing a teal corduroy skirt. i especially like that the wale is diagonal. i doubt i would have bought a teal corduroy skirt if this wasn't the case. the eels. i missed you guys. five pairs of shoes in a carry-on suitcase, three months in a suitcase. another three months in a small carry-on crammed into plastic bags and sealed airtight. a faux fur coat. my hair is getting too long. i don't know if i want it shorter. i want to take my speakers with me when i go but i think i'll have to leave some 80s tunes. i will take billy idol's rebel yell. i see you on the floor, you're peeking out from underneath something and i see you. don't smirk. i know you were the cause of all my problems. you're the reason why this ever started in the first place and i made you and i hate you but i can't unmake you. ever. dammit. i am making a connection. i am Almost Done.

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