this is where we look for things
01.23.02 - 11:29
those bastards.
the beatles on the radio, loud, windows cracked to let the warm-wet breeze in, windshield slightly fogged by humidity (also by fog). the freeway broken and crippled, swarming with trucks, bright lights, men in yellow hardhats. an ambulance, wailing, a moment of inaction (ours) and then it's gone. cranes carving black angles in a hazy purple sky. oncoming headlights an unfocused nebula of light. unfinished overpasses, ancient roman allusions. we are not made of rock and mortar. we are poured concrete, reinforced steel. we are hungry. the freeway narrows and widens, choking on cars and trucks, spitting them into the open road. a hum in the air, the birds are sleeping and we are still. something almost remembered, but lost. do you remember how we used to drive like this, so far apart, so far away. quiet nights, long nights, skies that never dark to black, but hover there, among the darkest of violets? when things were different and names weren't so important. when you remembered my birthday and i remembered halloween. you know that was always the way. cookies with red sprinkles and lemon bars in heart-shaped pans. listening to guns 'n' roses segue into belle and sebastian, pavement, the red house painters, led zeppelin, the chicago symphony orchestra. watching dancer in the dark. in the dark. whining too much. painting with fingers. painting with brushes. painting you. there are things to be said but they can be said tomorrow. letters can be written. the cartoon network at 8 am, laying on the floor. christmas lights, all year round. a plastic jack-o-lantern with a creepy plastic grin. and you, asking me to paint you with words. asking for ribbons and scotch tape. i didn't skip the introduction. i used to read every foreword until aldous huxley led me astray and now i save them for last. he might have ruined it for me if i hadn't read it before. he might have ruined it for you, i can't recall. when was it, how long ago did 404 start to mean something to us, to everyone. you don't want to be found, you don't want to be lost, you simply want to be redirected.
