02.01.02 - 12:26

february 1. hot damn. listening to ryan adams and wanting his album (or a high-speed connection). the PLAN. i am torn in two. he has a song named sylvia plath. i eat men like air. i'm sorry, ok. i really am. a lot of different feelings all at once. none of the right ones. sometimes things are so beautiful and sad at the very same time. it's ok, right. all you need is not love, but a combination of love and a number of quite a few other things. i don't think i'm going to mardi gras. i'm just not in the mood. must tell melissa. must buy plane tickets for california. i just need to be there.

i haven't written anything good in ever so long. but what do you do about it but keep writing? look at this. absolute crap. i'm not extraordinarily happy. i'm not extraordinarily sad. i'm not extraordinarily anything and it's not inspiring at all. sometimes i think about the tradeoff, is it more desirable to be feeling nothing and stuck in this boring writing rut or would i rather be curled up in a corner sobbing and writing beautiful things in the moments where i felt strong enough to put my mind and fingers to it? i don't know. i can never remember how bad it was when i'm not there. and i'm not there, for better, for better, for worse. whatever.

who is this woman singing with ryan adams on sweet carolina? sounds like a mix between emmylou harris and...well, actually i think it just sounds a whole lot like emmylou harris. i don't suppose it'll be difficult to find out. oh how i love google. ok, i'm not going past the first results page of my search "ryan adams"+"sweet carolina" but i do believe this is sufficient proof to say I RULE: "duo avec Emmylou Harris, 'Oh My Sweet Carolina.'" i mean, as long as avec does mean with, which i'm 99% sure it does.

she remembers how beautiful it was and so do i (was)

oh, and p.s. counting the thoughts-on-web i started posting at my old rice webspace, i've been doing this for three years now. yes, that's right. since february of '99. how time flies.

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