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04.09.02 - 10:44

hi there.

me? oh, i'm doing fine. yesterday on the bus coming home i thought oh, market and 6th, it's dark, don't get off. there's no reason to. while the 66 wandered off market and onto haight i listened to this girl with red-brown hair twisted up in knots on top of her head. i listened to twisted knot-girl talking to her blond friend in the faux fur leopard print coat about meeting a friend in central america and flying out to cuba for a couple of weeks and meeting up with boyfriend back in central america and traveling a week or two and staying after he left to travel alone a week or two, maybe wandering into south america and i was so jealous. and then she started talking about how she'd spent a week of vacation time on the trip to thailand and she really wanted to go to india and i've been there and i've been to india and i've been to central america but i'm still jealous and my feet are itchy. she sounds older and looks older even though she's trying to look all hip and funky like everyone else in this city so maybe it's ok that i'm where i'm at right now. i just want to get on a plane and fly far, far away, somewhere new. africa, new zealand, argentina.

how can i miss the new when i'm completely inside it right at this very moment? i want that different new, the sparkly loose kind that's so far away from money and hurt and all of those things that are so very real...

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