05.06.02 - 7:24

if i had unlimited time and a blankness behind my eyes i would write you a song, i would use only three chords. the great ones did it this way back in the sixties, we weren't ready to be born, we weren't ready for creation. the sun hasn't set yet thought it's half past seven and i wonder if there's anything crawling around inside me that wants to come out. waiting for a silly something to load up and present itself and i know now that i'm not writing for you her him anyone, just me. that's why it doesn't make sense, that's why the words crash into each other like bumper cars, that's why i'm so tired today or is it? i can see you walking down my street, blue man, with your blue suit and your blue hat and your swinging arms ahead of the rest of you. i can see you and now you're gone and you didn't ever know i was watching you. does that make you feel small?

i need to go get some things but i'm not sure that i'm able to leave the house. i can write to you here but only while i sit in this one spot, this rattan chair with the mismatched cushions. the sun is in my eyes. i don't know if it's ready i don't know if they're ready. it's 7:30 and it's still bright outside. maybe i'll venture out. maybe i'll put on a sweater and buy some shoes. maybe i'll go see charles atlas at bottom of the hill. maybe i'll call you for a drink. maybe i'll stay in and read my book and hunker down in the nest of blankets on my bed. maybe i'll go buy a new blanket. what? from where? what about that place at oak and gough? you think it's a nice area? we'll check it out. must call roy. must stamp and mail envelope. it's so warm when the sun's on you. it's so cold when you turn away.

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