09.12.02 - 9:38

i saw her huddled in the corner wrapped up in blankets. they were all blue and it looked like they might swallow her. i couldn't see her face but i assumed she had one. she wouldn't look at me. there weren't enough blankets to keep her warm. she was shivering and sweating and completely uncomfortable. there weren't enough blankets but she was sticky and cold at once and more blankets wouldn't help. she said, "it's hard to know when to give up the fight; two things you want will just never be right. it's never rained like it has tonight before." she wasn't going to move because there were parts of her that felt ok, like her left arm and the back of her neck and the spot underneath her right knee. she wasn't going to move because she might make things better or she might make things worse and she wouldn't be able to handle it if things got worse. she still wouldn't look at me and i stood in the corner across the room humming broken bits of melodies under my breath, pieces of songs that i'd forgotten i remembered. i stared at her like i could make her move by power of suggestion. i stared so hard my eyes started to water and i had to blink. she didn't look at me. she wasn't going to look at me. i assumed she had a face but you should never assume these things. i left her in the corner, wrapped up in all those blue blankets. i wrapped myself in a white comforter and waited for sleep to come.

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