this is where we look for things
09.27.02 - 11:28
the best thing is to take lots of baths. the best thing is to fill the tub with hothothot water, as hot as you can possibly stand. it feels good and it hurts a little and you are just barely able to keep yourself in the tub. and then the best thing is to turn the hot water off, completely off and the cold water on, completely on. cold is heavy and dark and it sinks to the bottom while hot is light and floats to the top. and then you feel the cold tendrils wrapping around you and it's like you can't breathe. when they get to your shoulders you know the warmth is almost gone. the best thing is to turn off the cold and lay your palms on the surface of the water, where all the heat comes together. and then turn on the hot water, it's scalding hot, it is. turn it on and the force of the flow drives it to the bottom where it meets the cold and bounces back to the top, leaving behind a trail of warmth. and then slowly all the cold turns to warm and you've forgotten the feel of cold crawling up your spine. the best thing is to turn off the water and drain the tub. turn your mind off and watch the water swirl down the drain. listen to it gurgling and spitting and finally trickling down the pipes. feel the tiny whirlpool that forms around the drain, the current spiraling, a barely there suction sucking at your fingers. the steam is gone and the mirror is foggy and everything inside you just flew out the window.
