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11.04.02 - 9:54

it was a blur of colors and your hands on my back. i turned to look but you were gone. i heard you calling my name in the dark. i pretended like i didn't hear. hush, she said, i am a secret. streaks of blue light tracing liquid shapes on the floor. a red table, a blue chair, a yellow chair. we're all just slightly off. you can't imagine where this world came from. i saw you on those slick polished pages and i tore you away and listened to your lullabies all night long. i am not tired.

one year. stepping off the bus and into a picture. everywhere cliffs and green and blue and sky and ocean and sand. we walked for what seemed like a lifetime to get to the lighthouse at the end of the world. we dangled our feet off the edge. if i were to fall, i thought, i wouldn't hit the ground, i wouldn't hit the water, i'd just disappear.

do you know where all the words went? they're hiding under the table and i want to join them there. i want to run around the city barefoot screaming in the fog. i want to bite you until you bleed. i want to rip the pages out of this book and paper my walls with them. i want to destroy everything. i want to leave nothing behind, nothing but the memory of how it used to be.

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