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12.02.02 - 10:14

sometimes it's very easy to feel like everyone is pretending around you. sometimes it's very easy to feel completely alien in a room full of people who look just like you. my throat hurts and i'm tired and soon i'll be in bed dreaming. it is still easy to find comfort in the simple things. hot water, hot flame. cold water, cold metal. you hold them up to your face and die a little on the inside. you look at the world around you and it's all dying too.

you get used to the feeling and it doesn't feel so bad anymore. you forget how anything else used to feel and it doesn't really matter. you listen to springsteen and you watch the rain. you listen to the rolling stones and you lie in the sun. you listen to nothing and you stare in the mirror.

everything breaks eventually. it's just a question of putting the pieces back together.

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