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08.14.03 - 10:57

terrible alone, terrible with you, terrible in a room full of people, terrible under the smile, under my skin. you caught me staring into space while everyone else talked and giggled and i looked away because sometimes my eyes say the things that my mouth never would.

she said, think about your daughters, mothers, wives, sisters, think about who you are. i was a chinese woman in the time of bound feet, i was an american woman fighting for suffrage. i was tammy wynette standing by my man, yoko breaking up the band. i was a woman in the camps of the second world war; i was an arab woman, wearing the burqa and walking three steps behind my husband. no, not think about who you are, think about who you were.

the words are floating aimlessly like dust in the sunlight, stability, precautions, safety, analysis. she said, you have a gift, and i thought first where?, where is the gift? and next i thought, is this the price? is it?

don't stand too close to the road. don't stand too close to the edge of the tracks. don't stand too close. sometimes it's not a matter of freedom.

don't stand too close to me. i could explode at any moment, showering you with the pieces of what might have been.

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