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05.11.05 - 7:03

ever since the new doctor, things have improved dramatically. the words don't flow so sweetly anymore but it's a small price to pay. i must have said it a thousand times in the old days, that i would give up all the beautiful inspiration if i didn't have to feel the pain and now that i'm finally here i wouldn't change a thing. some writers are fueled by their depression; some are crippled by it. i must have been the former. i'm happy to have all the bits and pieces that i produced during those darker days, but i would never trade the easy calm i feel today for more of those beautiful words.
sometimes when i start feeling the weight pressing down on me, i think about a time that i call the pink hair days. we were all here in the city and we were as close as we would ever be. some of us have moved away; some of us have simply grown apart. it was a freer time and when i think about it now i forget all the dark times, all the pain, and i remember sunny days at the beach, meteor showers and sleeping bags, barbecues and ice cream sundaes. i know it wasn't all like that, of course. but i miss those simple times, the sunburnt days and the lazy afternoons. we are always in motion, moving closer, moving farther apart. we came together then and it was beautiful at times. we moved apart and it won't ever be the same again. there will be better times, and there will be worse, i'm sure. but there won't ever be a time that feels the same as those pink hair days.

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