this is where we look for things
7.29.01 - 8:00
listen. you're either completely, utterly alone, or you're just not. i don't really understand how people can make claims for this bullshit in-between stuff and i promise you, it doesn't exist. invisible monsters wasn't as good as i'd been hoping for, but what else is new. i mean, things never live up to expectations. in my world, anyway. i don't know. there are some things that are new and interesting and then there's things like, the one you love and the one who loves you are never, ever the same person and 1) do we really need to hear that 2) who hasn't already noticed that and 3) even if it's a lie, don't worry, we'll all work together and find a way to fuck it up so it doesn't work out.
goddamn. there are some things that just feel terrible, no matter how you think about it. honey, you broke his heart and treated him like shit, how long do you expect him to pine for you, was that the way you put it, maybe. i didn't mean to. i really didn't. and i was sorry and i'm still sorry but acceptance is coming up behind me and i know it the way i know lots of things but it doesn't make it any easier. i know it hurts. i know it.
