this is where we look for things
1.14.01 - 2:18:21
that i updated less than an hour ago. the thing is, i left an unfinished entry on the screen yesterday and then shit happened and i had to reboot later on, but i never realized that i hadn't put that stuff up. i'll give you the short version.
i have realized recently that when i ran across people i related to in the past, i felt good about it. less alone. more "normal." comfortable. but things have changed and now it just makes me antsy. it makes me feel less authentic. less real. a xerox. if you watch er, the foreign doctor they replaced clooney with looks a lot like him. and everyone says, oh, he looks like george clooney. but if things had gone a different way, we might not know george clooney's name and we'd be saying he looked like this guy. whose name we don't know now.
life is such an arbitrary sequence of events that different camps try to attach some kind of importance to so you stop and pay attention. but in the end, it's all just sounds and smells and colors and stars, so YOU pick what you're going to focus on. and i go turn the radio up.
